This Way or That?

Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

This often quoted verse has always been one of my favorites.  Recently, the verse became very real to me.  I experienced what it means to trust that God will open doors and direct me to and through them to accomplish what He has for me to do in this life.  Let me explain...

I have not had the typical career path.  Most people complete degrees within 5 years of graduating high school.  Most do not begin their first full time job in management.  Most continue a path and progress as far as they want to go by my age. Most are looking toward retirement by my age.  God clearly has something I am supposed to do for Him and I trust He will give me all I need to complete the task.

Early in 2013 I had applied for the Management Candidate program where I work.  I really wanted to be a manager again.  I thought I had worked to accomplish all I needed to do to make me an ideal choice for the position.  I interviewed once, then again with a panel of upper level managers.  I was chosen to have a managerial evaluation by an industrial psychologist.  I knew that was a serious sign that I was a true contender for the job.  When the hiring manager told me that I would not be hired I was devastated!  I questioned everything about my performance in the process and I questioned that I should have tried to begin with.  I really wanted to be a manager and my heart was broken that I was not chosen.

Since that time I became Addie's primary caregiver, got in on the ground floor of establishing a workflow for a new billing department and had many opportunities to lead some of the best work teammates through some trailblazing projects in healthcare reform.  More importantly than that was a change of heart and desire to seek what God wanted me to do in life instead of following my own desires.  I did not know what I was to do in life.  I just knew that I had been studying and praying about getting closer to my Lord.  I knew if I did that that He would reveal the path.

In August 2014 the Management Candidate position was posted again.  I was in a different place in my life.  I had a level of comfort in my current position and was unsure if I would bid again on this position.  I had been involved in a ladies' Bible study and really been seeking God in my day to day decisions.  I prayed that the path I should take would be revealed.

I waited.  I needed some kind of sign, as cliche as that sounds.  If this was the path I was to take for His greater glory I needed more than just a desire to do it.  I needed that sign!  And I got it!  This time my outlook was this: Get the job or not, I knew God was guiding me where He wanted me to be.  Today I got the job!

Many things happened this time through the process that I am certain were orchestrated by Him.  I can't even talk about some of it.  I just know it.  I searched for signs and asked for guidance.  He never left me alone and always guided me through.

I said all that to say this--  Seek the Lord.  He will reveal the path you should take.  His path for your life may involve what you want and it may point you a completely different direction than what you think you want.  His time is always perfect for His purpose and reason.  I trust that.   I trust that he will give me what I need to be the best I can be in this new position.

Thanks to my family and friends who are so supportive.  This life is sweeter with you journeying with me.

I covet your prayers for wisdom.  I know this is a huge responsibility and I do not take that lightly. Please let me know if I can support you in any way as God reveals His path for your life.

To Everything, Turn, Turn, Turn

Embarrassed is an understatement.  It has been close to two years since my last post.  Could I have truly been so busy with all the importance of my life to put this on the back burner?  Well, yes.... I guess I did.  I did.

So much has happened since the last post.  "So", being a relative term.  The flashback of changes that have occurred and the comparison of the person I am now to the person I was nearly two years ago leaves even more questions.


Since November, 2012 I have:
1.) Changed departments where I work
2.) Enjoyed a promotion in the new position
3.) Experienced the interview process for management at my company
4.) Learned the lesson of grace despite adversity
5.) Finally figured out that it isn't all about me
6.) Became my granddaughter's primary caregiver
7.) Spent more time with my husband than I had in the past few years
8.) Competed and judged in my first CrossFit competition
9.) Worked more than I ever had in my life up to this point
10.) Lost people I love and admire through death, geography or circumstance

And those are just a few.

So, when do you cross that bridge to stop doing something you enjoy doing because time is shorter and shorter?  Well, for me it was when the pressure increased.  Pressure to learn something new and know it well.  Pressure, although, it is also joy, to give a little girl a childhood she deserves... no matter what.  Pressure to be there for the people who depend on me to be there, whether they know they do or not.  Whatever the reason.... I didn't post.

Well, that changes today!  After all, this is therapy for me and if someone happens to read it and like it... well, that's gravy on top.

The questions I have about myself may or may not be answered in this blog.  But there is value in the journey that inspires me to write.  I hope you enjoy my journey, too.

SHE'S BACK!!!