A Word About Fathers

The title of this blog includes a tribute to my mother because with each passing day I see how I am becoming more and more like her in so many ways.  She was the one who I depended on.  The one who loved me no matter what I did (and I did ALOT!).  She sacrificed so much so that my brother, Kerry, and I had as normal of a childhood as we could, albeit not like most of our friends whose dads were in their lives.

What I know about earthly fathers, you could put in a thimble.  OK, a bucket,...just not a very big one.  My father's name was Orland Johnson.  He was born and raised in Parrish, AL.  I had a few years of time spent with him but from age 8 through age 21 we did not see each other's face.  We also did not talk.   I was a little bitter.  And let's be honest, I still am.

The lesson I learned from his absence was that I needed to lean on my heavenly father.  I was jealous of others.  My friends who were obviously "Daddy's little girl" were the ones I wanted to be because I never had that.  Whatever the circumstances were that caused my father to stay away from me I will never understand.  I have my own children.  Just try to keep me from them.... I dare you.  I never will understand.

The one thing I do understand is that One greater actually made me.  He who is the creator of all things is sufficient for me.  And because of His love and His gift of His SON, I have everything I need.  He is my father.

Still, there are swirling emotions because I have news.  I found out today that my earthly father died.  And I found out that he died seven months ago.  Ironically, on my mother's birthday.

My brother and I were not mentioned as being his children in the obituary.  Just as in his life, we were not acknowledged.  No one called me to tell me so I could at least let his other children (my brothers, mind you) know that I was sorry for their loss.  My sweet brother come to tell me today because he found out by accident.

I am conflicted but firm.  I KNOW who my FATHER is.  I know who I am and WHOSE I am.   And I hope I have provided the love and support for my kids and grands to find the love of the true FATHER in their lives, as well.

Rest in Peace Orland Johnson